For some reason my moods have been swinging uncontrollably lately. I'm almost positive it's the enormous amounts of carbs sugar and fat I've been eating so I'm conducting a little experiment over the next few days. More leafy greens, 30 mins of exercise a day, and at least 1 liter of water a day to see how my mood swings. The tuna salad I had at lunch felt light and isn't weighing me down so of course I feel like doing things and my mood is pretty level. Not depressed at all actually. The next step will be of course to stop smoking cigs and maintain healthy eating with consistent exercise. And by healthy I mean getting in my vegetables which isn't easy because I positively abhor cooked vegetables. Salads are fabulous, I love em, would eat them all day but cooked vegetables....ugh. Even though I eat them on occasion it's not daily like it should be so fuck it that's my goal for now. Eat more vegetables, less beef, more water, less diet soda, more exercise, less moping around and feeling sorry for myself. I should see results in a few weeks if I'm consistent and I should be this time. It's getting cooler, so that will mean less excuses about going outside. This is rather difficult.
Being a 24. I've been a 26/28 since I was in junior high. Out of high school I ballooned up to a 34 and over the years gradually lost about 50 pounds of the 408 I'd accumulated. In the past year I've lost another 60. It's so hard to believe I've lost any of it, even though when I go in stores the size 24 clothes fit. It's occured to me that I'm trying to be someone I've never been.
I hear all the time about people trying to get their figures back but I can honestly say I've never seen mine. It's so strange. Just being out of the hospital I've had a tremendous amount of energy. I'm getting all the housework done cooking dinner and going to the stores and cleaning up all in the same day. All in the same evening. That would be unthinkable to me before. I'd get my lil brothers to do it or scream at them for hours to pick up after themselves. Now I just get up on my own and get it done. Seems amazing to me for some reason. Now if I could just get my moods uncontrol. Stop feeling so sorry for myself and make better food choices. Maybe I'll be able to break through this plateau and reach the next level of weight loss. New territory. Under the 20's in fact. What does an 18 feel like I wonder? What will I feel like doing and how will I feel about myself? Will people look at me different? The possiblities interest me enough to find out for myself. :)
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